by Eirikah Delaunay
I had such a fabulous time at the Seattle Erotic Art Festival (SEAF) last weekend! I got to have hundreds of short, sexy conversations with festival patrons at the sponsorship table for my sex+relationship coaching practice, Desire Alchemy, using my “Let’s Talk About. . .” conversation cards. One of the things that came up over and over again was just how many definitions people have for the words we use in the sex positive community, and how confusing related words can be–edging vs. edge play, for instance. And that doesn’t even scratch the surface of how many different kinds of play people with different experiences might classify as edge play.
To help folks better understand each other in the context of our shared sex positive community, the CSPC is seeking assistance from our members to create a crowd-sourced Sex Positive Dictionary. We’ll share a short list of words here in the newsletter periodically to solicit YOUR definitions to be shared with your peers in an online resource, similar to the Urban Dictionary.
In April, we shared five words for your definition generation pleasure. Huge thanks to those who submitted! Some sample responses:
Brat–A bottom/submissive who tends to act out in ways that are likely to bring chastisement, restrictions, or punishment from their Top/Dominant, typically for the mutual enjoyment of both. Usage example: “I love giving a brat the spankings they are clearly asking for.” –7
Genderfluid–Identifying as two or more genders (not necessarily feminine or masculine), in a way that shifts between those genders over a period of time. Usage example: “I am male-bodied but I fluctuate between being in nonbinary-identifying and strongly female-identifying modes.” –7
Impact Play–Sexual or sensual consensual play in which some implement is used to hit another’s body. Implements can include: hand, flogger, whip, wooden spoon, cane,and paddle. Know which parts of the body will be happy to get that impact and which will cause lasting distress. –M@
Primal–An animalistic/primitive style of play, often with aspects of consensual non-consent (chasing, wrestling, capture, etc.) and unrestrained expression (scratches, bites, growls, and the like). Also, a kink identity as one favoring such play, sometimes with Top/bottom identities such as “primal Dom/sub/hunter/prey/switch.” (Not to be confused with Optimus Primal: roleplaying as an Autobot for purposes of seducing Megan Fox.)
Sensation Play–Using a variety of objects or techniques to create different physical sensations, such as fur, feathers, claws, knives, temperature play with ice or hot wax, etc. Can include scratching, biting, pinching, stroking, and other sensations. Might also target other senses besides touch. –E
Our words for May reflect common questions from our newer members:
Bottom
Top
Scene
Scene Name
Safeword
How would you define these terms in your experience? Tell us at sexpositivedictionary@thecspc.org! Be sure to include the initials you’d like us to use to identify your contributions. We may share them on Discord, social media, and the newsletter, as well as the dictionary platform when it’s complete.